THE 90/10 SECRET

The 90/10 secret is incredible! Very few know and apply this secret. The result? Millions of people are suffering undeserved stress, trials, problems, and heartache. They never seem to be a success in life. Bad days follow bad days. Terrible things seem to be constantly happening. Theirs is constant stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships. Worry consumes time, anger breaks friendships, and life seems dreary and is not enjoyed to the fullest.. Friends are lost. Life is a bore and often seems cruel. Does this describe you? If so, do not be discouraged. You can be different!. Understand and apply the 90/10 secret. It will change your life! What is this secret? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.

What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane may be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%.

The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%! How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction.

Don't let people fool you, YOU can control how you react!

Let's use an example.

You're eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react.

You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the coffee cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup to close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt.

Back downstairs you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit zone.

After a 15 minute delay and throwing $60 (traffic fine) away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs to the building without saying good-bye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase.

Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to going home. When you arrive home you find a small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the Policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?

The answer is D. You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say "It's OK honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase. You come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You and your spouse kiss before you both go to work. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good of day you are having.

Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% is determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 secret.

If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You do not have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out, etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you loose your temper? Pound the steering wheel? (A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off!) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the blue car ruin your drive. Remember the 90-10 principle, and do not worry about it!

You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep or get irritated? It will work out. Use your "worrying" energy and time into finding another job. The plane is late. It is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, to get to know the other passengers, etc. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.

You now know the 90-10 secret. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results!!!

-Author Unknown-


HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! May your 2010 be filled with showers of blessings daily!

YOU STILL HAVE HOPE

If you can look at the sunset and smile,
then you still have hope.

If you can find beauty in the colors of a small flower,
then you still have hope.

If you can find pleasure in the movement of a butterfly,
then you still have hope.

If the smile of a child can still warm your heart,
then you still have hope.

If you can see the good in other people,
then you still have hope.

If the rain breaking on a roof top can still lull you to sleep,
then you still have hope.

If the sight of a rainbow still makes you stop and stare in wonder,
then you still have hope.

If the soft fur of a favored pet still feels pleasant under your fingertips,
then you still have hope.

If you meet new people with a trace of excitement and optimism,
then you still have hope.

If you give people the benefit of a doubt,
then you still have hope.

If you still offer your hand in friendship to others that have touched your life,
then you still have hope.

If receiving an unexpected card
or letter still brings a pleasant surprise,
then you still have hope.

If the suffering of others still fills your with pain and frustration,
then you still have hope.

If you refuse to let a friendship die,
or accept that it must end,
then you still have hope.

If you look forward to a time or place of quiet and reflection,
then you still have hope.

If you still buy the ornaments,
put up the Christmas tree or cook the supper,
then you still have hope.

If you can look to the past and smile,
then you still have hope.

If, when faced with the bad,
when told everything is futile,
you can still look up and end the conversation with the phrase..."yeah...BUT.,"
then you still have hope.

Hope is such a marvelous thing.
It bends, it twists, it sometimes hides,
but rarely does it break.
It sustains us when nothing else can.
It gives us reason to continue and courage to move ahead,
when we tell ourselves we'd rather give in.

Hope puts a smile on our face
when the heart cannot manage.

Hope puts our feet on the path
when our eyes cannot see it.

Hope moves us to act
when our souls are confused of the direction.

Hope is a wonderful thing,
something to be cherished and nurtured,
and something that will refresh us in return.
And it can be found in each of us,
and it can bring light into the darkest of places.
NEVER LOSE HOPE!

-Author Unknown-

DEAR DAD...

My father was diagnosed with cancer almost 2 years ago and through the really, really hard times, I tried to keep my sanity by writing. Your site on grief made me cry, but also made me realize that I am definitely not alone as I'm dealing with my father's cancer. I'd like to share a letter that I wrote late one night when my father was going in for his 4th brain surgery.

Dear Dad,

I want to say thank you for being such a wonderful father. Though you've brought us many a struggle with your various ailments over the years, you've taught me more about life than any other experience could have. It's been tough. You've thrown more at me than I ever thought my 21 years could handle. You've taught me that nightmares can come true.

Finding out that you have terminal stage IV cancer, out of nowhere, on Christmas Day; what does one even do with that as part of reality? But it was from that pit of desperation and fear that hope somehow sprang forth. My life did not end at that moment and neither did yours.

Dad, you've taught me what heroes are made of: how to go in and do what you have to do, even when it's hard and scary and you know it's going to be painful. As I sat at your feet through many chemo sessions, I saw an incredible person. I learned how precious life is. It was worth the toxic chemicals that were pumped into your vein. It was worth the horrible side effects including loss of hair, strength, and abscessing finger nails.

As I am constantly immersing myself in the world of medicine as a pharmacy major, you've taught me to always remember the personal aspect of what I will soon be calling my career; the part that seems to get lost amid the exams, labs, and lectures. This is what pharmacy is about, people like you, Dad, who are alive today because of what I read in my textbooks.

You've taught me that world isn't about money. What good is a 401K that gives you 10 million at age 60 if you die at 59? Life is too precious, too unpredictable, to be put on hold for 40 years.

You've taught me never to give up...even when it seems that all odds are against you and medical professionals only give you a few months to live. Don't believe in anyone who doesn't believe in you. As long as their is a tiny chance, you can be the exception because you are like no one else. But, you've also taught me not to fear death. Fight the good fight, but know that you can never beat God.

Dad, you've taught me how amazing and resistant the human body can be. Surgeons have opened you up and touched your lungs, heart, and brain...and they are still working enough to sustain life. God has done an incredible job in creating us, why mistreat this wonderful gift? No one is made perfect though. True beauty is shown on the inside.

As I look at you now, Dad, I don't see the pale, bald, slow man before me, I see my father; the person who taught me how to ride a two wheeler, and how to drive a standard shift car. The person who drove me to swim meets and sat there for hour upon boring hour in the hot, humid pool bleachers, never complaining. The person who built my loft freshman year at college in the hundred degree heat. The person who went to work everyday, even though he felt physically worse than I could ever imagine, to his daughter a wonderful chance at a promising future. That's who I see--and that whom I see is the most beautiful person I can imagine.

Though it's been hard getting through the days after learning of your diagnosis, I'm thankful that from this disease I have grown to appreciate every day of my life at such a young age.

Love,
Christine

--- Christine M. Walko --- Pennsylvania